Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
okay pat passed out under dana's car
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
