More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
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Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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