How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
