She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
