We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
