Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
What a dumb baby whore.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
