Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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