i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
