yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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