BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
