I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
