i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Randomize
