remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Randomize
