its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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