Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
