I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Randomize
