She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
