it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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