i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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