I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
