ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I understand Curling. That high.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
