Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
