Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
She bit a glass in half.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
