Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
