Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
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We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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