and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
