FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
