I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I still have a little drunk in my system
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize