i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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Randomize
