Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
