I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Come see our sink grown plant.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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