I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
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He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
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My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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