i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Michael Bay diarrhea
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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