I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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