No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
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