ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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