would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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