Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
