I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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