My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
