I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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