Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
