i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
