Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
