i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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