Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Boobs speak an international language.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
