I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize