I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
