Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
