i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
is it fun? or sober?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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