hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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