so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
