Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize