yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Fuck appropriateness.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
