Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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