I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
They are going to name an STD after you.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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