It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
