you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
