Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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