p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
