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i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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