grandma shit on top of the toilet
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
