Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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