Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
