i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
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Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
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Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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