So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
