i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Randomize
