Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
